Absinthe

1) It was really early morning and I was swimming around all of these tiny islands with some girl. The water was clear blue and some of the islands had ruins of small buildings and walls. We saw a house that looked inhabited so we crept around it and through the garden onto a wooden deck. I was looking through the windows and longing that I was inside! We could see a man and a woman asleep on a sofa all cuddled up together and their son was sitting on the floor watching tv. He saw us and looked shocked so we ran through the flowerbeds and rockeries but we were barefoot so it hurt a bit. Before we even got back to the water we were caught by loads of SWAT team type men.
By now the random girl was actually Sarah and we were marched across the island past more ruins and tunnels until we got to a temple which was built into a mountain or cliff. It had really wide stone steps and a big round door at the top. The SWAT men pushed us up the steps but even they were too scared to get too close to the door as there must have been something terrible behind it. About half way up the steps we noticed a really normal looking white door in the stone wall so we ran through it to escape. It led to loads of dark tunnels and passages which we rushed through in random directions to get as deep into the cliff as possible to get away from the men. At one point it opened up into a small chamber which looked like a museum exhibit with some stuffed birds and fossils.
Eventually we went through a door which led to a massive massive room that was the top floor of a huge building. It felt like this was the final part of a journey that would have started by walking through the round door at the top of the temple but because we took the shortcut it made no sense!
There were a few groups of people who had undertaken the whole journey milling about the strange assortment of items in the room and Sophie, Joe C, Niall and some anonymous people were waiting for us on some sofas and armchairs. They had been there for ages and were just as confused by this room and its contents as we were.
There was a purple and yellow patterned flying carpet hovering and rippling just above the floor and hovering above that, sitting cross-legged, was the green and purple guy from Harvey Birdman. Elsewhere in this gigantic room was some sort of low yellow plastic platform with an official-looking person standing on it next to what looked like a swirling, orangey pink portal. Part of the room looked like a furniture shop (where the guys were sitting) with loads of, well, furniture. There was so much stuff I can't even explain!
I kept taking my coat on and off which reminded Niall that he had left his coat somewhere else in this ridiculous room. We all set off to retrieve it and me and Joe got in a lift and went down to the basement. He had discovered that the twat from Peep Show, Geoff, was the evil mastermind behind this whole dream! When we got out of the lift there was a tunnel going upwards towards the surface and that bastard Geoff was escaping. We tried to go after him but a portcullis was lowering to block the tunnel and he turned around and laughed at us.
We realised that everyone else was upstairs getting the coat so we got back in the lift. There were a few other people in the lift including Brendan Fraser, but I was surprised because he didn't look anything like Brendan Fraser. The other people were really sucking up to him and asking him lots of questions. Because we were going to the top floor it took a while to drop off the other people, and just before we got out Brendan gave us a scrap of paper with a poem on.

2) Joe C had a big plaster with a long slit in on the bottom of his foot. He peeled it off to reveal "NERD" in black marker pen and there were goose feathers between the plaster and his foot to help rub the word off.

Patrick

I was lying in bed with my sister Hannah and we could hear a load of noise coming from the kitchen. I was going to go investigate but she wouldn't let me in case it was a dangerous robber. When I woke up a bit later I went to the kitchen and the only things missing were a casserole dish, a little pipe Sarah had sent me and a huge bottle of Tresemme conditioner. But the conditioner was actually in a shampoo bottle so we had foxed the robber. In the garden was a big plastic shark chopped in half...that was his calling card. For some reason we thought Patrick Swayze was the culprit, so we got in my mums car to find her friend who looked like him. We thought that if we got this guy and dressed him up like Patrick Swayze and left him in the kitchen over night it would freak out the real Patrick Swayze if he came back.

Arrested

I was in Llancarfan outside my old house and there were a load of guitars and parts of drumkits in the parking space at the front. Daniel Hall and I grabbed as many as we could carry and ran away. We abandoned them after a little while because someone had noticed they were gone. Then I was on the pavement near Barry Docks train station and a policewoman arrested me for the theft of the instruments. Of course I denied everything but I didn't think running off with the guitars was a big deal anyway because we didn't keep them. The policewoman was a bitch. I rang my dad who told me not to answer any questions until my lawyer came, but the bitch kept accusing me and trying to get a reaction. I couldn't just not say anything but as soon as I started replying I said really incriminating things.

Island

There was some kind of national/global emergency and there was no food anywhere. I was standing on a little island sticking about 10metres out of a river covered in weeds and brambles and there was a motorway flyover above me. There were looooads of people walking on the motorway carrying suitcases and vases being pointed in different directions by men in uniforms. They were going to be killed but they didn't know it yet. I was hiding in the brambles until eventually all of the civilians were gone and there were just the officers left. The island started to drift down the river and I thought I was going to escape but the people followed it along on the riverbank. I remember thinking "but I'm the heir to Dior, they can't kill me."

Snakes

I was in a smallish (about 1 acre) clearing in a forest with Sarah, Joe Monkey and Niall. It was dark and I was sitting on the floor drawing people's names haha. I thought "how do I draw the word Joe?" Niall was easy; it was a picture of some pyramids next to a river with an arrow and these little hats on sticks with a scarecrow. I noticed a huge anaconda snaking towards us. We tried to ignore it but it wouldn't leave us alone so we hatched a plan to murder it. When it came near we all jumped on it's back at the same time and it's head exploded. Then we saw that there were loads of baby snakes swarming us so we had to escape.
There was a big stone archway at the edge of the clearing with a massive fat snake in front of it that was flickering sort of invisibly like Predator. It was bleeding or leaking what looked like oil. We crept past it into the archway which came out onto Barry Island by the harbour. We were still standing under the arch looking out to see the harbour sinking under the water and back up again a few times.
Then me and Sarah were in a really high-ceilinged cave on a beach that we had gone into to retrieve some books from a secret hiding place. We were walking alongside a river and some leafless trees and there were some life-size deer models with dangly legs hanging in the trees. There were 2 bridges about 20 feet apart and there were loads of cows walking over 1 bridge then back over the other in a slow circuit. We joined in to look for some findings....

Snake

I was in a grassy enclosure in a zoo with a strange little animal. It had the face of a tufty-haired guinea pig, black and white fur and long spindly legs like a fawn. A zoo keeper told me that it was just prey for another animal that only eats it's bones because the meat is so sinewy. I went over to the fence on which there was an 18ft anaconda nailed down. I stroked it and noticed a plaque next to it saying that it had died today. Then it opened its eyes and started moving a bit so I ran away. The zoo keeper was trying to restrain it and screaming at me to help but I wasn't going near an angry snake. It was still thrashing around and its pointy tail cut my arm so I was trying to stop it bleeding. The next time I turned around the zoo keeper was chopping up the anaconda in big meaty chunks and there was blood and skin everywhere.

Lots

1) I was riding an elephant in Alaska, but it looked and felt more like somewhere in Africa. I was with a load of Nazis and Hitler and I was trying to look inconspicuous so I could escape. My elephant stopped for a wee and Hitler came towards me to tell me off. Then I was (without the elephant) in a room in a country house. I walked through a door into what should have been another room but I came out into some kind of temple. I was at the top of some wide stone steps with columns either side. I went down the steps where there was a garden- the whole place was in a valley and the slope had lots of different trees and some shrubs and little paths. My grandma was there and she said "you see that tree there, behind the apple tree? I remember meeting Hitler there with my mother when I was a baby."

2) Me and Sarah were standing on the edge of the road somewhere in the countryside. I said something like "oh yeah, we were going to go on a mission weren't we?" So we set off walking through these lanes. Every so often we would pass really interesting looking trails that went off the lane but we thought we should keep on the road. When we passed one of these paths an old, trampy looking man walking past told us that we definately must not go down that path. We waited for him to pass us and went down the trail. By this time it was dark, and we came upon a broken old garden centre. It was made from a metal frame with a white plastic roof and there was loads of broken glass and pots and it smelled like a damp garden centre. We saw the old man trying to catch up with us so we ran through all the crap on the floor but we didn't know how to get back on road. We had a really shit torch each and we were trying to keep the beams together so we could see. There was an old woman with the old man now and they were catching up with us. It wasn't really scary, just a bit weird. We climbed down some rocks onto a beach where there was something to do with shelves and acorns.....

3) Bill Bailey had a shop! It was really tiny and just consisted of a small flight of stairs, the space next to it and a small room coming off that. It was the morning and Bill was setting up the shop, but he did it differently every day. Today he was painting it bright blue with yellow stars. I really wanted to talk to him but he was busy so I just snooped around. I opened the door on the left and the room was empty except for lots of little cards.I shut the door and went upstairs looking for beads. At the back of the room there were some framed photos that Joe (Cowboy) had taken of the inside of all different buses, like the bit behind the driver or the ticket bin.

War

I was in this massive shopping mall with loads and loads of mostly anonymous people. There was a creepy atmosphere and the mall opened out into a wide street with more shops and a small harbour. I went down to a shop at the end with huge windows and met a couple of women there. I was really nervous and we were chatting about jewellery but really it was some kind of code. They could see I was nervous and were trying to calm me down discreetly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman walk in with a black sports bag and I immediately screamed and ran out of the shop. As soon as I was out in the street I knew I'd made a complete tit of myself so I sidled back in sheepishly. Suddenly I knew exactly what was going on; Tyra Banks and her army had taken over the country and occupied Britain, and we were going to create a diversion by setting off a bomb in the shop. I told the women I was pulling out of the plan and went to look around the other shops, knowing that a bomb was about to go off and that I had to act normally.
I went back into the shopping mall part to get as far away from where the bomb would be and there were still loads of people around. At some point the bomb must have gone off so the half of the mall I was in was closed off. We were all quite scared but excited too, and people began looting like in Dawn of the Dead! I looking at loads of cool clothes and other people were swanning about in expensive ball gowns. I asked someone what the time was and they didn't have a clue. We had been there so long by now we couldn't tell if it was day or night. I could hear the army approaching from behind the blockade and we knew they were going to kill us all.

Carnations

I was in Llancarfan (the village I used to live in) curled up by the stream amongst the grass and trees. I was living there like a hermit with Ewan McGregor and I walked into the stream and splashed my face with some water. We went and stood outside my old house which was covered in rows of giant flowers in colours going from light to dark from top to bottom (after some extensive googling I have determined that they were carnations). We climbed the steps into the front garden where my next door neighbour was tidying up and Ewan was suddenly someone else, I think Sarah or Kacie, and I said "look, this is my old house! When I tell you about this dream you'll know what I mean because you've seen it."

Dormitory

It was the 1950s and I was living on the top floor of a house with some girls. It was one big room with a few single beds, like a dormitory, and the ceiling was wooden and slanted with the shape of the roof. The house was somewhere in the country and there was a man (who I didn't see) in charge of us who we were worried would come in and tell us off if we made too much noise. There were 4 boys living elsewhere in the house who looked about 14 years old. I think they were betrothed (haha) to some of the girls.
We were bored and got out a record player. Someone found some red, blue and yellow plastic strips that were about the size of a 30cm ruler. We had a little sewing kit so we sewed the strips together into panels and put them on as corsets. We were getting into a line to dance to the music and when I looked at the girls I could see them really clearly so I tried to memorize what they were wearing. I quickly went over to a table and started writing it down but they were all telling me to hurry up because the music was starting.
The boys came in and said they were going somewhere but they didn't look old enough. Some of the girls were saying "just tell them you're engaged, they'll think you're older".
When the boys left the girls got into bed and went to sleep. I looked out of a window and saw a massive tree and what looked like somebody's foot, so I climbed out and onto the tree. Between some branches near the top was a platform and someone was sitting on it, I can't remember who. I could hear the mysterious man in charge and I knew I'd get bollocked if he saw me in the tree. He came out of the door and he was looking all around for me and I was wishing he wouldn't look up. Then I was really high up floating in the air and laughing because he couldn't see me...

Shaven

1) I was down the Knap with Gee and my brother Leo and we were standing by a low wall waiting for someone. We had a camcorder/video camera of some kind so we were playing around with it. I had what I thought was a really good idea so I told Leo to point the camera at me and start filming. I looked into the camera and said "He had crazy staring eyes" (then my eyes looked to the left, then back at the camera) "and a crazy staring ear!" But in the dream it was incredibly funny and we were pissing ourselves laughing.

2) I was in the kitchen with some anonymous people and there were 2 men in red pants. One of them was really hairy and the other was about a normal level of hairyness. The anonymous people were shaving the hairiest guy and saying "why can't you be more like the less hairy man?"

LSD

Me and Sarah were in the countryside around where I used to live, and there was a long trail of what looked like grey powder snaking across the fields. We realized that it was LSD so we wanted to steal it. We pretended to just innocently go for a walk but we were collecting it on our shoes, and the farmer was coming towards us in his tractor...

Crocodile

I woke up and got out of bed to find a crocodile's head on the floor. I picked it up and the wall in front of me had some film projected onto it. It showed a (quite skinny) elephant in a concrete enclosure with a zoo keeper. The keeper was talking to the camera about the elephant, then was handed a baby from off-camera. He held it out to the elephant who picked it up with his trunk and put it in his mouth. Suddenly a crocodile appeared, so the elephant spat out the baby and bit off the crocodile's head. The film disappeared from the wall and Twigg walked in. I showed him the head and explained about the elephant, then we went into the living room. There were loads of fairy lights and a Christmas tree (but it wasn't Christmas) , and Sarah burst in through the front door shouting "waaaaaaaah!"

Graffiti

There was a huge concrete multi-story car park with an open centre (like the bit Kakiharo falls down in Ichi the Killer) but bigger. On the ground floor there had been an infamous murder there at some point previously and it was replayed to me. I wasn't actually there in the car park; it was like my mind was floating on the ceiling and watching. There were some small parapets scattered about with steps up to them and in one of stood a man. He was stabbed to death there, although I didn't see it happen. When his body was found there was some graffiti symbol (can't remember what) on the wall. Then I was standing in the parapet with my brother Leo and one or two other anonymous people. I was anxious that whoever killed the guy would come back and kill us because we were in the exact spot. Leo and the people were joking about it and started copying the symbol all over the walls, then suddenly they were gone. I was on my own in the car park and I knew the killer was somewhere nearby. For some STUPID reason I climbed up the inside of the open centre towards the roof where the guy was waiting for me. As I reached the top he poked his head through one of the windows from where he was clinging on to the outside. He thought that it was me who copied his symbol on all the walls so he pulled a gun out and shot at me.

Bauble

1) I was at some kind of convention which looked a bit like a Christmas market (without the Christmocity). It was indoors but the floor was cobbled and the ceilings were really high, and there were lots of wooden stalls with fabric and wooden awnings in front. I was riding Lennox (one of our old horses) and I think it pissed everyone off that there was a horse in their market. I kept having to steer away from the stalls so I didn't get decapitated by the awnings.

2) I was down the Knap by the lifeboat station and it was a peculiar time of day...the sky was greyish-blue and it was getting darker. The tide was coming in fast and the water was purple and blue, it looked a bit like the iridescence when oil floats on the top of water. It looked like it had the consistency of molten metal. It looked more like a painting than anything, it was beautiful.
I was standing on the rocks with some Australians who were worried about something and wanted to leave. I was annoyed with them because it was so peaceful and pretty and they were trying to make me come with them. One of them was trying to line up some dim plastic lights on little grey stalks.... I looked back towards the beach and there was a huge (8 feet?) glass bauble on the surface of the water coming towards us. It was a giant version of some beads we made earrings out of. I'm not sure if that was what the Australians had been dreading, but they scarpered.

Prison

I was sent to prison (only for a couple of weeks) and I was standing in some kind of lobby area. It looked like Barry Docks train station with a huge glass window separating the prison from the train tracks. There were loads of other prisoners milling about and we were all wearing orange jumpsuits. We were waiting for visitors to come see us, and I went over to one group of guys (who were my friends) and we stood about chatting. Most of the prisoners dispersed to the big window to see their visitors so I wandered back towards the main body of the prison. I walked past a load of cells to what looked like a few hotel rooms without walls; there were some single beds and wardrobes separated into small cubicles. Because I was the only girl in the prison I got one of these sections instead of a cell, yay. I was looking through my stuff for pyjamas when I noticed a Sarah (but I didn't know her) unpacking a suitcase onto a bed near mine. I thought "yay, a girl" after spending weeks with scary men, so we made friends. We drank a bottle of rose one of us had sneaked in (which tasted like strawberry) and went for a look around. I hadn't noticed before but the rest of the prison was a shop...

Density

I was standing knee-deep in a swamp, it was all dark snot-green and slimy. There were a few brown hairy wild boars wandering about under the water. I was with a gamekeeper in green overalls who was explaining that the swamp was just 1 square acre but because it was so dense, he could keep up to 8 boars in it. This is unlike other countries where farmers need acres and acres of land to keep just a few boars.