Friday, August 22, 2008


1) It was really early morning and I was swimming around all of these tiny islands with some girl. The water was clear blue and some of the islands had ruins of small buildings and walls. We saw a house that looked inhabited so we crept around it and through the garden onto a wooden deck. I was looking through the windows and longing that I was inside! We could see a man and a woman asleep on a sofa all cuddled up together and their son was sitting on the floor watching tv. He saw us and looked shocked so we ran through the flowerbeds and rockeries but we were barefoot so it hurt a bit. Before we even got back to the water we were caught by loads of SWAT team type men.
By now the random girl was actually Sarah and we were marched across the island past more ruins and tunnels until we got to a temple which was built into a mountain or cliff. It had really wide stone steps and a big round door at the top. The SWAT men pushed us up the steps but even they were too scared to get too close to the door as there must have been something terrible behind it. About half way up the steps we noticed a really normal looking white door in the stone wall so we ran through it to escape. It led to loads of dark tunnels and passages which we rushed through in random directions to get as deep into the cliff as possible to get away from the men. At one point it opened up into a small chamber which looked like a museum exhibit with some stuffed birds and fossils.
Eventually we went through a door which led to a massive massive room that was the top floor of a huge building. It felt like this was the final part of a journey that would have started by walking through the round door at the top of the temple but because we took the shortcut it made no sense!
There were a few groups of people who had undertaken the whole journey milling about the strange assortment of items in the room and Sophie, Joe C, Niall and some anonymous people were waiting for us on some sofas and armchairs. They had been there for ages and were just as confused by this room and its contents as we were.
There was a purple and yellow patterned flying carpet hovering and rippling just above the floor and hovering above that, sitting cross-legged, was the green and purple guy from Harvey Birdman. Elsewhere in this gigantic room was some sort of low yellow plastic platform with an official-looking person standing on it next to what looked like a swirling, orangey pink portal. Part of the room looked like a furniture shop (where the guys were sitting) with loads of, well, furniture. There was so much stuff I can't even explain!
I kept taking my coat on and off which reminded Niall that he had left his coat somewhere else in this ridiculous room. We all set off to retrieve it and me and Joe got in a lift and went down to the basement. He had discovered that the twat from Peep Show, Geoff, was the evil mastermind behind this whole dream! When we got out of the lift there was a tunnel going upwards towards the surface and that bastard Geoff was escaping. We tried to go after him but a portcullis was lowering to block the tunnel and he turned around and laughed at us.
We realised that everyone else was upstairs getting the coat so we got back in the lift. There were a few other people in the lift including Brendan Fraser, but I was surprised because he didn't look anything like Brendan Fraser. The other people were really sucking up to him and asking him lots of questions. Because we were going to the top floor it took a while to drop off the other people, and just before we got out Brendan gave us a scrap of paper with a poem on.

2) Joe C had a big plaster with a long slit in on the bottom of his foot. He peeled it off to reveal "NERD" in black marker pen and there were goose feathers between the plaster and his foot to help rub the word off.

Friday, July 11, 2008


I was lying in bed with my sister Hannah and we could hear a load of noise coming from the kitchen. I was going to go investigate but she wouldn't let me in case it was a dangerous robber. When I woke up a bit later I went to the kitchen and the only things missing were a casserole dish, a little pipe Sarah had sent me and a huge bottle of Tresemme conditioner. But the conditioner was actually in a shampoo bottle so we had foxed the robber. In the garden was a big plastic shark chopped in half...that was his calling card. For some reason we thought Patrick Swayze was the culprit, so we got in my mums car to find her friend who looked like him. We thought that if we got this guy and dressed him up like Patrick Swayze and left him in the kitchen over night it would freak out the real Patrick Swayze if he came back.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


I was in Llancarfan outside my old house and there were a load of guitars and parts of drumkits in the parking space at the front. Daniel Hall and I grabbed as many as we could carry and ran away. We abandoned them after a little while because someone had noticed they were gone. Then I was on the pavement near Barry Docks train station and a policewoman arrested me for the theft of the instruments. Of course I denied everything but I didn't think running off with the guitars was a big deal anyway because we didn't keep them. The policewoman was a bitch. I rang my dad who told me not to answer any questions until my lawyer came, but the bitch kept accusing me and trying to get a reaction. I couldn't just not say anything but as soon as I started replying I said really incriminating things.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


There was some kind of national/global emergency and there was no food anywhere. I was standing on a little island sticking about 10metres out of a river covered in weeds and brambles and there was a motorway flyover above me. There were looooads of people walking on the motorway carrying suitcases and vases being pointed in different directions by men in uniforms. They were going to be killed but they didn't know it yet. I was hiding in the brambles until eventually all of the civilians were gone and there were just the officers left. The island started to drift down the river and I thought I was going to escape but the people followed it along on the riverbank. I remember thinking "but I'm the heir to Dior, they can't kill me."

Sunday, April 27, 2008


I was in a smallish (about 1 acre) clearing in a forest with Sarah, Joe Monkey and Niall. It was dark and I was sitting on the floor drawing people's names haha. I thought "how do I draw the word Joe?" Niall was easy; it was a picture of some pyramids next to a river with an arrow and these little hats on sticks with a scarecrow. I noticed a huge anaconda snaking towards us. We tried to ignore it but it wouldn't leave us alone so we hatched a plan to murder it. When it came near we all jumped on it's back at the same time and it's head exploded. Then we saw that there were loads of baby snakes swarming us so we had to escape.
There was a big stone archway at the edge of the clearing with a massive fat snake in front of it that was flickering sort of invisibly like Predator. It was bleeding or leaking what looked like oil. We crept past it into the archway which came out onto Barry Island by the harbour. We were still standing under the arch looking out to see the harbour sinking under the water and back up again a few times.
Then me and Sarah were in a really high-ceilinged cave on a beach that we had gone into to retrieve some books from a secret hiding place. We were walking alongside a river and some leafless trees and there were some life-size deer models with dangly legs hanging in the trees. There were 2 bridges about 20 feet apart and there were loads of cows walking over 1 bridge then back over the other in a slow circuit. We joined in to look for some findings....


I was in a grassy enclosure in a zoo with a strange little animal. It had the face of a tufty-haired guinea pig, black and white fur and long spindly legs like a fawn. A zoo keeper told me that it was just prey for another animal that only eats it's bones because the meat is so sinewy. I went over to the fence on which there was an 18ft anaconda nailed down. I stroked it and noticed a plaque next to it saying that it had died today. Then it opened its eyes and started moving a bit so I ran away. The zoo keeper was trying to restrain it and screaming at me to help but I wasn't going near an angry snake. It was still thrashing around and its pointy tail cut my arm so I was trying to stop it bleeding. The next time I turned around the zoo keeper was chopping up the anaconda in big meaty chunks and there was blood and skin everywhere.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


1) I was sitting at the table with my sister Hannah, my mum and some anonymous people and we were eating stir fry out of green bowls. I put a pale strip of meat in my mouth but it tasted really peculiar...not horrible, just odd. Then I realized that we were eating baby. I swallowed what I was eating but I felt awful. Everyone else just carried on because it was perfectly normal to eat baby. I wondered where they got these babies from and I thought I might be able to eat the meat in a burrito, but not on its own.

2) I was in a field with loads of people and there was a huge torpedo-looking thing, it was almost like a cartoon rocket. It was horizontal on a frame with wheels with a red pointy nose and the rest was white. People were pushing it around and talking about possible targets to point it at. I was confused and terrified. There were a couple of people in white who were in charge and they decided to bomb a city...I can't remember what it was called but it was on the South-East coast of the U.S. I was shouting "what the fuck are you doing?!" and grabbing people but they wouldn't even look at me.
Then I was on a street with houses in the city they were going to bomb. I knew it was a nuclear bomb so I was running about being scared. I think the bomb had just hit a distant part of the city so people were driving away really fast and crashing into each other. Then I was in some massive building, like a school or an old hospital. I rounded up some people to help me close all the windows to keep the nuclear fallout from killing us.